Smart, On-the-Spot Responses When Condo/HOA Owners Surprise or Challenge You
You’ve certainly heard completely off the wall or unworkable suggestions for running your condo or HOA from some of your owners.
Your superpower as a board member should be to respond to every one of those recommendations in a way that makes the homeowner feel heard but that doesn’t commit the board to take any action. At the same time, you want to be sure you don’t escalate if you’re already in a tense discussion.
What can you say? Well, you’ve likely heard the old standbys:
- “There’s an idea.”
- “That’s interesting. Will you please create a proposal and email it to the board?”
But even those can sometimes further a discussion you don’t want or need to have. So we turned to our trusted experts for their best practices for responding to homeowners wisely.
The Guiding Principles
No matter how you say it, your underlying goals should be to build a good bond with homeowners and to ensure that they’re comfortable continuing to provide you with input.
“I think the main thing to emphasize when boards ask us about this is that, while it’s tiring and can be frustrating and aggravating when people ask about things that seem obtuse or wacky, there’s really a bright side to it,” says Sean A. O’Connor, a shareholder at Clarkson McAlonis & O’Connor P.C. who has represented condos and HOA throughout South Carolina for nearly 20 years. “You really want the feedback.
“You want to know what’s on people’s mind, and you want them coming to the board or the managing agent and asking questions like that,” he explains. “It shows they’re engaged. And it’s much better for them to communicate in that way, even if they’re asking for things or making suggestions that don’t make sense or aren’t feasible. That’s better than spreading a bunch of nonsense on social media or cooking up conspiracy theories and stirring up trouble in less healthy and less productive ways.
“It also gives the board the opportunity to say, ‘We appreciate you coming to us, and we encourage your feedback; we want you to keep talking to us,’” says O’Connor. “Most owners likely don’t know all the things the board is aware of in terms of budgeting, what the documents say, and the conversations they’ve had with the lawyer and the community manager. But these interactions with owners are very beneficial to the board and the association in making those homeowners feel valued. You want to hear from them.”
Jasmine F. Hale, CCAL, a principal at Berding & Weil based in Walnut Creek, Calif., who advises condos and HOAs throughout California, agrees that owners don’t always know what board members know. She also advises that you remember your duty to investigate.
“One thing I’ve started recommending—not just for the board but also for management because they take the brunt from a lot of angry homeowners—is to go through the motions,” she advises. “If someone says, ‘I think we need to do X for the common area and it’s a nonstarter, I always tell boards, if there’s a complaint, you have a duty to investigate it once.
“That doesn’t mean that, once you’ve done that, every time the homeowner brings it up, you have to keep reinvestigating,” says Hale. “Even when you think it’s a crackpot idea or a nonstarter and it’s this one person’s pet project, I tell the board, ‘Go through the motions, and investigate the issue.’
“Say the fired-up homeowner comes and talks about this idea at a meeting,” she explains. “The president might say, ‘We can’t talk about it at this meeting because it wasn’t an agenda item. But we’ll ask management to put it on the next agenda, and we’ll discuss it at the next meeting.’ Or you might say, ‘We’re going to ask our insurance company; perhaps there’s more information they can provide us.’
“Or maybe the appropriate response is, ‘Hey, management, could you go get additional proposals from other service providers for the board to review?’” says Hale. “Then, at the next meeting, you’re likely going to be able to say, ‘We’ve solicited two other proposals. They came up with higher costs, so we’ll continue with our current service provider.’
“A lot of times, homeowners don’t have visibility to things going on behind the scenes,” she adds. “The wheels are always moving, but homeowners don’t see it because they’re not a board member. It’s good for managers to be authorized to give visibility to these things. That says to owners, ‘Management heard me.’ And overall, it shows homeowners, ‘We hear you. It doesn’t mean we’re going to do it, but we’re giving your idea due respect and fulfilling our responsibility in making decisions.’”
Your Body Language Matters Too
For Melissa Garcia, a shareholder at Altitude Community Law PC in Lakewood, Colo., who provides advice and counsel to Colorado associations in all areas of community association law, this situation is often about de-escalation.
“Typically, people are already upset when they don’t like a decision of the board,” she explains. “I wouldn’t say, ‘Tell me how you feel.’ And don’t try to argue or convince. It’s not about getting people to agree with you. It’s more about reducing the level of anger they might have.
“There may be ways to get that person to see more behind the scenes of how the board got to this decision,” says Garcia. “You might say, ‘We’re going to be discussing this project in the future. Maybe you can help with that.’ So you get them on a committee.
“The idea isn’t that you’re going to change their mind but that they’re heard in a respectful tone, not as you roll your eyes, and not in a tone that says, ‘We already talked about this,’” she says. “This takes a lot of patience and realizing that if your community is 200 units, none of the owners have the same idea. You have to be patient.
“I’m often in a room with people who are escalating, and even your posture is important,” says Garcia. “I try to stand at an angle, not right in front of the person. Don’t finger point. There’s so much you can do with body posture. The key is to make sure they’re heard in a respectful way.”
More Great Responses You Might Put to Use
O’Connor suggests several additional comments to consider: “You can say, ‘I hear what you’re saying.’ ‘That’s an interesting perspective.’ ‘I understand why you’d feel that way.’ Or ‘We’ll take that into account as we move forward.’”
He also has a variation for a single board member to avoid committing the entire board to an action: “I’m just one board member. Everyone’s going to weigh in on this, and we have to follow a deliberative process, which includes reviewing the governing documents and seeing what’s possible. There are a lot of things we have to take into account, but we definitely want to hear from you. There are no bad ideas. The only bad ideas are the ones that are unexpressed.”
The “boilerplate answer” for Brad van Rooyen, CPMS, the president of Florida-based Folio Association Management, which oversees more than 325 associations throughout the state, is, ‘Thank you for your feedback; the board will take that under advisement,’” he says. “That’s a nice way of acknowledging the individual but not wanting to further engage.”
Being a big proponent of technology, van Rooyen also put in an AI prompt for nonconfrontational and noncommittal responses to use when dealing with surprising or challenging comments from condo or HOA owners. Here’s the list AI kicked out:
General-neutral Responses
- “That’s an interesting perspective. I appreciate you sharing that.”
- “I hear what you’re saying. Let me take note of that.”
- “I understand this is important to you. We’ll certainly consider it.”
- “That’s something we’ll have to look into further.”
- “I can see how you’d feel that way.”
Deflecting and Redirecting
- “That’s a great question. I’ll need to gather more details before I can respond.”
- “I don’t have an answer on that right now, but I’ll bring it to the board for discussion.”
- “I’d be happy to discuss this further at the next meeting so we can all weigh in.”
- “That’s a topic that requires some research. Let me follow up with you once we have more information.”
Acknowledging Concerns Without Committing
- “I can understand why you’re concerned. We’ll take your feedback into account.”
- “That’s certainly something to think about. I appreciate your input.”
- “The board’s goal is to make decisions that are in the best interest of the community.”
- “We always encourage homeowners to share their thoughts, and we’ll consider all perspectives.”
Setting Boundaries Without Escalation
- “I see where you’re coming from, but I’d like to keep this discussion constructive.”
- “I appreciate your passion on this topic. Let’s make sure we’re addressing it in a way that works for everyone.”
- “Let’s make sure we follow the right process to address this concern effectively.”
- “This might be better discussed in a more formal setting. Would you like to submit this as an agenda item?”
